i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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