My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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