I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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