every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
