Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
