as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
