Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
