My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize