happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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