Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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