Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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