That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just invented taco cereal.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
