If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
