I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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