Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
