Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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