Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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