Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
