im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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