I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
