The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
