im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
