used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
