i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
