if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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