belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Randomize
