God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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