Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize