Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he was CRYING into my vagina
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
