Swine flu. Run for my life!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
