can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
