God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
