I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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