Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think i have two assholes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
