my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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