Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize