At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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