Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
