let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
