"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
