He asked me if I "almost moaned"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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