Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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