Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i believe in u and ur pee
I think people are normalizing furries
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
