I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
