She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
