I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
