I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
