Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize