got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
