My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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