when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
