I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
