I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
