I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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