i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
