They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Mom said you looked used
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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