drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
so much tequila, so little girl.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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