brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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