508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
