Already got asked if we're dating
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
