so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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