Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
