She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
