but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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