So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
