i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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