yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize